I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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