dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
