No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
