just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If I die, sorry about rent.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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