piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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