I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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