Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
When are your genitals available?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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