remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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