I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize