That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
