Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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