Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
