I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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