he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
