Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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