Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she smelled like a LAN party
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
