capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
