everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
