he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize