I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize