We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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