My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
