I just cut my nipple shaving
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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