physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
