so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
