Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
