I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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