He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
