Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
