Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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