yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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