Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
