if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
another moral hangover. fuck.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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