He is an equal opportunity slut.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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