He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
