It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
