Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I stole a fireplace last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
