Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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