Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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