And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
