god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
