i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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