How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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