I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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