You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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