dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
