she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
