I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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