i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
