My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
