Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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