doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
