I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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