my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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