We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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