So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
