Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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