My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
