My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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