I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You can't motorboat a personality
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I still have a little drunk in my system
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
