I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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